I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
