he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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