yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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