If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
