I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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