rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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