You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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