Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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