so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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