I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
