You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Screwed.edu
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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