Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
