He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
