Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
