Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
