When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
this boner is exhausting
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
