After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize