The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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