the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You are the jesus of drinking
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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