Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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