we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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