Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
