While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
