I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
