I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
