I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
