So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
