how can u be prego again
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
