she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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