who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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