your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
