My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
