Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
