oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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