Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
