K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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