Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
