There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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