So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Nicole vs. Life
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
