i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
