I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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