dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
