I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
this hospital has no fireball
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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