he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
birth control should be required to get into college
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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