All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize