It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
