he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
