Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
