I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
