we have pet lesbian snakes
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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