why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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