Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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