i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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