OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
