Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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