remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
