she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
