Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The adults are the big ones right?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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